Holy Hell! Brazilian Sect Declares USBs Satanic

They have since banned their members from using it. Why? Keep reading for the juicy stuff.

The Brazilian cult Peace of the Beloved Lord has banned the devices for a simple reason: it dawned on them the symbol for the USB is a trident. It must be the Devil’s work!

To contain the inevitable corruption, poor USBs have all but been burned at the stake. According to cult leader Welder Saldanha:

“The symbol of that name (a name which he doesn’t even like to pronounce) is a trident, which is used to torture souls that go to hell. Use only a symbol of those shows that all users of that vile technology are actually worshipers of Satan”

Except for the part denouncing USB fans at the end, he does have point though. Just think of it, how many times has your PC been infected by a USB-borne virus?

However, it seems the Brazilian sect isn’t too righteous for file transfers and general computing, simply replacing USBs with alternative data connectors.

Oh, and Bluetooth is fine.”Blue was the color of the eyes of our savior Jesus Christ.”

That’s deep, man.

Via Gearlog

The Symbolism Behind the USB Trident

The USB symbol, which resembles a trident, is intended to represent the versatility and universality of the USB standard. The three prongs of the trident symbolize the different types of connections that USB can support: data transfer, power supply, and device communication. However, the Peace of the Beloved Lord cult interprets this symbol differently. To them, the trident is reminiscent of the weapon traditionally associated with the Devil, used to torture souls in hell. This interpretation has led them to view USB devices as tools of evil, corrupting the purity of their community.

While this may seem extreme to most, it highlights how symbols can be interpreted in vastly different ways depending on cultural and religious contexts. The trident, a symbol of technological progress and convenience for many, becomes a symbol of malevolence and spiritual danger for others.

Alternative Data Transfer Methods

In light of their ban on USB devices, the Peace of the Beloved Lord cult has turned to alternative methods for data transfer and general computing. One such alternative is the use of Bluetooth technology. According to the cult, Bluetooth is acceptable because “Blue was the color of the eyes of our savior Jesus Christ.” This reasoning, while unconventional, shows the lengths to which the cult will go to align their technological choices with their spiritual beliefs.

Bluetooth technology, which allows for wireless communication between devices, has become increasingly popular in recent years. It offers a convenient and cable-free way to transfer data, connect peripherals, and even stream audio. By adopting Bluetooth, the cult can maintain their technological capabilities without compromising their religious principles.

Another alternative could be the use of cloud storage services. These services allow users to store and access data over the internet, eliminating the need for physical storage devices like USB drives. Cloud storage offers several advantages, including the ability to access files from any device with an internet connection and the added security of off-site backups. However, it remains to be seen whether the cult will embrace this technology, given their strict interpretation of symbols and their meanings.

The Peace of the Beloved Lord cult’s ban on USB devices is a fascinating example of how religious beliefs can influence technological choices. While their interpretation of the USB symbol as a trident of the Devil may seem unusual, it underscores the power of symbols and the importance of aligning technology with spiritual values. By turning to alternatives like Bluetooth and potentially cloud storage, the cult can continue to navigate the digital world while staying true to their beliefs.

Via Gearlog

Filed Under: Humor

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